The first country I went to as a long-term missionary was Burkina Faso. When I went there I thought I’d be there for the rest of my life, so set about learning one of the trade languages and was making good progress with it. However, I then fell ill, and in 3 months had malaria three times and typhoid once. I was really unwell and lost a lot of weight. Unfortunately, my physical health wasn’t the only thing that suffered – my mental health did too. I’d been on anti-depressants since my twin sister took her own life 7 years earlier. I’d been doing pretty well, but it turns out that tropical diseases can affect mood. Unsurprisingly my mood got pretty low.

Poor internet access made contact with home difficult, and unfortunately I didn’t have much insight into how physically and mentally unwell I was, so didn’t disclose much to people back home.

One day a concerned teammate encouraged me to go home for a while and get well, but I wasn’t keen. However, God convinced me through Psalm 23’s description of green pastures, still waters, and the promise of restoring my soul. Going home was definitely the right thing to do.

Once home, my family, friends, church, and my agency rallied around me. My agency arranged and paid for me to have a week’s debriefing, which was very beneficial. My pastor was supportive, and church paid for me to have several sessions of counselling and then I decided to continue paying for it myself. It took me about six months to recover enough to be able to start working again, but I still needed counselling due to childhood issues which I’d thought were already resolved. Time went on, and God was true to His word – He gave me green pastures, still waters, and restoration of my soul. He met me beautifully in deeply personal ways, and after about 18 months of counselling I was able to start weaning off the anti-depressants. During that time, I was closely supervised by my counsellor and had input from my GP. I took a year to wean off them, and haven’t had a problem with depression since 😊

Somewhere in the weaning off period, God quite suddenly told me that He didn't want me to go back to Burkina Faso. That really shook me. I asked Him about it, and being the good Father He is, He explained why. That helped me accept it, and I knew that He wasn’t saying no to long-term missions, just Burkina Faso.
After a few years nursing in New Zealand and serving in various roles in my church, I began to get itchy feet again. I spent the last six months of 2020 seeking God about where to next, and by January 2021 was confident that He was opening the door for me to come with my agency to a country in Southeast Asia.

However, conflict in that country delayed my departure from New Zealand until May last year. My teammates welcomed me very warmly. Getting a student visa wasn’t an option for me, so I did some online training in teaching English as a foreign language. My official job title is Language Consultant. Our team focuses on the majority people group of this land. Despite having had access to the Gospel for years, this people group is massively under-represented in Christian circles.

The first few months of my time here went really well, but then I started to struggle, as many new missionaries do. The transition from senior nurse to language learner was quite hard. This language is very different to any of the others I’ve learned before, and it’s a lot harder to learn a language at 50 than it was at 35! The educational style here is very different to New Zealand, so it took a while for my language teacher and I to adjust. Another factor making my transition tough was needing to juggle language study with work. Fortunately, I was able to ease into work and it’s a role I enjoy. Adjusting to life in a place that requires a lot of security measures was also challenging, although the preparation and training from my agency was excellent.

Everything combined, and I knew I was struggling. I reached out to my agency’s Member Care Department – definitely a good decision! They recommended the book “Sojourners’ Workbook” (Connie Befus), which was very helpful. In addition to that, the main member care person and I began calling each other every 2-3 weeks. Having a safe space to talk things through was great. I knew she understood where I was coming from.

Furthermore, all missionaries with my agency are now encouraged to have a member care person for support, and regular contact with her is fantastic. Just before I left New Zealand she encouraged me with Psalm 91, which has been a strength and comfort to me.

Another key in easing my transition was choosing to deepen my relationship with God by spending more time with Him. It also helped me to share my struggles with other missionaries. Additionally, I have fantastic support from a group of friends in NZ, my family, and my church. Through my agency, I’ve also had ministry through Restoring the Foundations (RTF), an exceptional help.

That’s a lot of support for one person! However, I’m so glad I sought help when I was struggling. It’s been an effective, although difficult way to grow. Having been here for 18 months, I’m in a much better place. Yes, the language is still hard, but I’m making good progress and have adjusted my expectations to suit the situation. I’m glad to be serving here with this team. I’m grateful to have a job I enjoy and am well and truly settled in here now.

Lessons learned:

• Dig into God. Romans 15:4 says, “For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.”
• Reach out for support.
• Persevere in learning language and culture.
• God is faithful to guide us and care for us. Our part is to let Him.